Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Random side note: I have this chemical malfunction in my brain that refuses to connect how the Hebrew Calendar coincides with our normal calendar. (I hate using the word ‘normal’- but I can’t think of the word I’m really wanting) So the days on the Hebrew calendar goes from Sundown to Sundown, while ours is Midnight to Midnight. That’s not the hard part. The part I can’t ever seem to connect is that when I buy a calendar with all the Jewish dates on it--- when it announces the First day of such and such…is it talking about THAT day at sundown…or should I have started the night before at sundown. Every year, every holiday the dilemma wrestles around in my head. It was MUCH easier when I was part of the Synagogue in Lubbock, because they would announce the exact moment it started. But now that I’m not a part of one, I just sit in cyclical quandaries. Because of this- I THOUGHT Chanuka started on Monday night…only to find out it started on Sunday night instead. I asked a friend of mine that I knew from the Synagogue to set me straight-and she says she struggles with it every year too- but found this website that list specifically the start times and she sits down with her new calendar every year and makes her notes. Fabulous! I’ll never be confused again!! Fyi: http://urj.org/holidays/jcal/index.cfm
Ok- back to my Hanukah love.
The reason I love it so much- is because of what the holiday represents.
Chanukah is a tangible reminder of God’s unchanging Faithfulness and His provision. I spend the entire season of Chanukkah just reflecting on that specific aspect of the character of God.
Not only that, but it’s all about Israel fighting back against Hellenism. For the simplest of definitions- Hellenism was the Greeks trying to force their language, culture, manners, etc., onto everyone else to make others be like them. This even included the very polytheistic faith of the Greeks. Erg.
Don’t you just love that my blog is not only entertaining…but it’s so highly educational as well! ;-)
Here’s the bare bone basic story of Hannukah...but trust me- there’s so much more to the story…
So back in the day- Antiochus takes power-and is over the land of Israel. He and his men also take over the Temple and set up an altar to Zeus and started sacrificing pigs to him. (mmmhmmm-pigs) Jews are slaughtered and Judaism is banned. Finally one of the families has enough, and starts a revolt to put a stop to Hellenism in their area. Mattathias is the leader. He eventually dies and his son Judah takes over. They name him Judah Maccabee (Judah The Hammer) Hmmmm- So Judah means “Praise”. Praise as a hammer….hmmmmmm…very interesting…
Ok so….the Jews win. They take back their Temple- but it’s obviously been horrifyingly defiled. In order to purify it, several things must occur-including the fact that the Menorah must burn for 7 days. They only had enough for 1 day- and it would take at least 7 days to make new oil. So they decided to go ahead and light the Menorah anyways- And THAT’S when the miracle occurred. The Menorah burned for 8 straight days and the Temple was purified and re-dedicated back to God!!
Channukah always holds a special place in my heart. One, because of the anti-Hellenism battle that takes place. (a subject that I am very passionate about) But also, the fact that it shows God’s love, faithfulness, and provision.
Even as I’ve been writing this throughout the day…God has totally shown up and reminded me of those simple little facts-in a very tangible way. He loves me so very much, He cares deeply about the details of my life, and the faithfulness of His provision will never cease.
So as you celebrate the holidays of this week, stop and remember that God IS the Keeper of Promises…and His steadfast character will always take care of you.
If you noticed- there’s a billion ways to spell Hanuka. I’ve tried to use them all…but here’s the rest I couldn’t fit in: Hanukka, Hanaka, Haneka, Hanika, and Khanukkah. ;-)
Saturday, December 6, 2008
Ok, so I'm COMPLETELY creeped out by Qdoba's. For those that don't know Qdoba's- it's a poor mans Cilantros. For those that don't know Cilantros- well, that’s just the sad tragedy you exist in. (I would like to take this opportunity to state how much I deeply, deeply miss and grieve the loss of Cilantros. Not only because I moved to Colo Springs, but even more so now when I'm back in Lubbock. The world has not been the same since you've closed your doors. Please-if there is ANY justice or love in the world-please please please come up to the Springs and open one here. Do you hear me Justin? Shane S? Anybody? Anybody?)
Oh- by the way- we're talking burritos here. The ones that are the size of your head...
Anyways- so I was heading over to Kris and Renee's last week to finish up our last minute costume issues for Thanksgiving. (yes, that's right-costumes-that post will come soon) I stopped by the Q to grab dinner. Now it’s that whole-build-as-you-go concept- so I called Renee’ and she gave me her and Kris’ order and I relayed all the info to the people behind the counter. Nothing special. Didn’t carry on any other kind of conversation with them-just told them the orders.
All is well, I get to K & R’s…she busts out the burritos and places one where Kris is gonna sit. I see something written on it-and these thoughts go quickly through my head- “Oh that’s funny, it looks like Chris, but I’m sure it must say Chicken, cause they wouldn't have known it was Chris”. Then I see that it’s too short to say Chicken. So I said that same thought out loud to Renee’. She then looks at me oddly as says- It DOES say Chris- and mine says Renee’- and she holds hers out.
OK- I NEVER told the people at the Q their names. Never.
Yet- their names were on their burritos.
Does that NOT completely freak you out???
They have to apparently be psychic, prophetic, or just have AMAZING customer service skills and somehow listened to my conversation on the phone and figured it out. But even that- I'm sure I said Kris’ name- because I would have asked Renee’- What does Kris want on his? But I didn’t think I said Renee’s name…. Creepy creepy creepy!!
Obviously I HAD to take a picture of the mysterical burritos.
Which THEN led to another insane story. So I ran upstairs to get my phone, and couldn’t find it. I then ran out to my car. Still nowhere. Renee’ starts calling me to hopefully help in the investigation. I run BACK outside and can hear “Hey Mickey, You’re so fine, you’re so fine you blow my mind, Hey Mickey! clap-clap clap-clap Hey Mickey!” (because what could possibly be a better fit for Renee’ than an 80’s cheerleader song!) So I run to my car, look around on the ground- nothing. Open my car to look inside- and the sound is quieter so I realize it must be outside. I keep looking around and around my car, all over the yard- nothing. Finally- I get down on the ground- and there is my phone- UNDER my car! Like, WAY under! I had to get down in the street and crawl under my car to get it. WHAT IN THE WORLD???
So the point of all this-is that not only did we have some magical-powered burritos that self named themselves…they ALSO saved my phone from being crushed as I drove away into the night.
Hmmmmmmm-Cilantros burritos never did THAT….
Thursday, December 4, 2008
By Jenn Beamer
I don’t get the uproar. I really don’t.
I am a girl of Passion. I am a girl who believes that it’s the small things that matter. I am a girl that takes a stand in the face of adversity, even when I am the only one that is standing.
But this, really?
THIS is a battle that needs to be fought?
Cause I don’t get it.
It started a couple of years ago, and I just received an email declaring the latest store we should now hate and should boycott…
because they are choosing to say “Happy Holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas”.
Now why is it that I should be angry and refuse to shop at Costco?
Of ALL the battles in this world that need to be fought, of all the stances that need to be taken…why is this one such an issue?
Back in the day- when I worked retail during the holidays, I always chose to say- Happy Holidays, instead of Merry Christmas. It just made sense to me. We don’t know who chooses to celebrate what. There is a large population (and one that is growing I might add) who DOESN’T celebrate Christmas. So why can’t we say Happy Holidays instead?
I think one of the arguments is because they’re refusing to say “Christ”. OK, I see the point, kinda. But isn’t this stretching it just a bit?
Or they argue that it’s an attack on Christianity itself.
Ok. Here is where I show AMAZING amounts of restraint. Because I am absolutely positively refusing to go off on another tangent. BUT, I will say that I do not see it as an attack on our religion. Have you looked into the origins of Christmas? The origins of the holiday has nothing to do with Jesus. WE added Him to a pagan holiday- so why are we upset that His “name” is supposedly being taken back out?
The Church just gladly voted in a socialistic, murdering, Islamic-tied man into office. Yet we’re gonna cry about being told Happy Holidays instead of Merry Christmas.
Give me a break.
Monday, November 17, 2008
Anyways- one of my “favorite” blogs is The “Blog” of “Unnecessary” Quotation Marks. (“blog” on my list)
People spot the unnecessary use of quotation marks, take pics and submit them to the blog for everyone to ridicule and debate. Who wouldn’t love that?
So a couple of months ago we kidnapped our friend Sarah who’s husband had just been deployed to Iraq, and took her to Marble Slab. As we were walking in, I saw the sign on the door and "had" to take a picture. I submitted it "instantly" but they are totally "backlogged" (obviously because people don’t know how to "properly" use quotations) so mine was just posted this "weekend".
"Go check it out!"
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
This morning I couldn’t find my keys.
I searched and searched and searched.
Suddenly, I had a sinking feeling in my stomach.
Sure enough, when I opened it- there they were...
ALL NIGHT LONG.
In a door that is on a path that EVERYONE walks by.
Apparently Colorado Springs is safer than I thought.
Not that I hope to make a habit of this.
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
My Aunt Debbie had sent me a package.
(And since I know EVERYONE keeps up with history AND my previous blog entry’s…I know everyone else KNOWS that Alice led the Iron Jawed Angels in the battle for giving women the right to vote!! AND that Iron Jawed Angels is one of my most favorite movies ever! )
So I excitedly opened it up knowing what had to be inside…and saw that she sent me a fabulous Alice Paul Tribute Hat to wear of my very own.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Thursday, October 9, 2008
I’ve been in a very reminiscent place this last week. It all started when I was making plans for Rosh Hashanah. (The Jewish New Year-aka-the Feasts of Trumpets) I celebrate all the Jewish holidays- but this one in particular is my favorite. As I began to think about WHY it was my favorite- it hit me. It’s been 10 years since God radically changed my life. It’s a long story (but AMAZING)…so I’ll try to keep the details to a minimum.
I had just moved in with this random girl I met on a roommate bulletin board. She was louder and crazier than I was (hard to believe-especially at the time!) …and had an extraordinary relationship with God. Anyone who knows the fabulous Holly would definitely agree.
Now, I’ve always had a strong relationship with God…but my entire paradigm was about to shift in my knowledge of Him. Several things played into all this but let’s just say for time sake that it started because God told me to read about Ezekiel. (the Bible prophet- not the kid prophet!) I kept putting it off, cause I was busy. Then, for no natural reason whatsoever- I dislocated my right knee. (the most excruciating pain EVER). Suddenly I had all this time on my hands waiting for my knee to heal…and guess what I did…mmmhmmmm….I read Ezekiel. (which from here on out will be referred to as Chezi- the nickname for the Hebrew version of the name)
Ok, this is a CRAZY book. Chezi has these crazy radical visions of the Throne Room, and Living Beings, etc., etc. But, as I was reading-something about it REALLY made me angry. I HATED that no matter what insane thing God told Chezi to do as a prophetic act…the man JUST did it. Never argued, never questioned, just did it. (ok- so when God said he had to cook food over his own dung, Chezi asked if he could at least use animal dung instead-but STILL) God makes Chezi lie on his side for years, as this big declarative statement for the people of Israel. God didn’t let him publicly mourn the death of his wife. And he just quietly obeyed. It made me so angry- and I even kept asking God why couldn’t I study MOSES? I would relate better to MOSES. He was scared, he argued, he had a temper, etc. MOSES- I get. Ezekiel- not so much. But all God would say- Is to keep reading.
Now- up until this point- I did feel pretty good about my obedience with God. I always had the attitude that if I had been around during Noah’s time- of COURSE I would have helped him, or would have built it myself even. BUT- as I’m reading about Chezi, the reality hits me. If God asked me, at that very moment, to spend the next 2 years lying on my side at 82nd and Slide- I would say no. No.
I HATED that revelation about myself. HATED.
But I kept reading…
OK, so summary of that current season: I grew up in Dysfunction-Junction. Because of that- my whole life (22 yrs at that point) I was convinced God wanted me to go into counseling, psychology, etc. so I could help other families. Right before the whole Ezekiel thing came up, I was about to enter my 3rd semester of college when God said- Nope, don’t do that. I said- Ummmm…ok, what do I do? And God said- I’ve got another plan. I then said- Ummmmm….ok. What?
For MONTHS there was just silence. I knew God was going to send me in a different direction-but had no idea what. So I just waited. (not always patiently and quietly- that’s a REALLY hard place to be in!) During this time I read Israel, My Beloved by Kay Arthur (must read!) and it opened up this whole door of curiosity in my life. Was Christianity’s history really that corrupt? What is the significance of all this Jewish stuff? So, I just randomly started looking into it.
So now, I’m waiting on God, doing some random research…and then God said read Ezekiel…and so I throw that into the mix....as I wait....
OK…things get so complicated from here that I don’t think I could possibly write it all out. SOOOOOO let’s see if I can just sum up part of it-
God finally told me what He wanted me to do with my life. He said He wanted me to help break down the wall/chasm between Christians and Jews-through example and education. (there’s so much more to it…but, ya)
When this revelation came- it messed me UP. Completely. It was so far off my grid of comprehension I couldn’t even begin to process it. AND- Holly, the one person who might possibly understand that God was messing with my whole world and that I THOUGHT God might be saying insane things to me, was on the other side of the world, in India.
So I shut down. I NEVER spoke it out. I barely talked about it with God because I was trying too hard to convince myself I was crazy and go back to my original plan of being a counselor. Months, this went on. MOOOOONTHS.
Then the week before Rosh Hashanah of 1998 (the Year of Jubilee fyi!) some other crazy stuff happened- but basically God was like- "The time is NOW. Either say yes or say no- but the time has come to make a decision." OY! So that Sunday I went to church. I was still wanting “a sign” and was hoping Pastor Jackie would scream out a word of the Lord at me during his sermon. No such luck. I told God I just wanted to go to the front and have “a moment” with Him and I would get my heart straight once and for all. At the end of the sermon there was an altar call, but it was for something completely random and I couldn’t justify going down. During the closing prayer I was starting to freak out- I was desperately wanting that moment with God. (Ok- SO well aware these MOMENTS can happen anywhere- and have NO idea why I was so set on it happening down at the altar-I’m a little insane sometimes) After Jackie said “amen” he said- “I don’t know why, I just feel that there are people here who just want to come down and meet with God- so if that’s you- the front is open. We’ll have people here to pray for you” Don’t you just love him?
Of course I practically jumped the chairs to get down there. And I DIDN’T want anyone else to come pray for me-so I asked God to keep people away (He did). So, as I knelt, I told God YES- to whatever He wanted me to do with Israel.
And, being the God that He is…the conversation then went something like this:
God- Ok, now, say yes to everything
Me- Excuse me?
God-Say yes now- to anything and everything I will ever ask of you from this point on
Me- Ummmm-ok, like what?
God- No, say yes
Me- You can’t even give me a hint?
God- Nope, doesn’t work that way. I want you to have “Ezekiel Obedience” the kind that you will get up and do anything I ask, at the instant I ask it, and we won’t have to go through this miserable season we just had.
Wow. What the heck? FREAKED me out. So I kept kneeling there for several moments trying to comprehend what was happening.
But, I said YES. Yes to anything and everything God wanted. I really, truly, surrendered EVERYthing to Him at that moment.
I walked out knowing, that I know, that I know…that if God said- Hey Jenn- go lay on your side for the next year at Austin Bluffs and Academy…I would do it. No arguing, no questioning-just obedience.
That week we celebrated Rosh Hashanah. It was the beginning of a New Year-and a whole new walk with God. And it was after services that night, as I lay upside down on my bed (which I do when I’m stressed), staring at my Israel flag on my wall- that for the first time ever- I spoke out all the details of that last year to my bff Holly.
And my life hasn’t been the same since.
OH- during all this- my college pastor wrote an outline of the Old Testament. When he handed it to me, I of course immediately opened it up to Ezekiel. As he described the first couple of chapters, it said this-
Ezekiel saw the Glory of God (even MOSES only saw His backside)
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
It's by Note for a Child:
I am the lyric with words,
Need you, the melody,
I am a boat in the sea all alone
You are the North Star, guiding me home
I'm the explorer and you are the treasure I seek
And how can I dare to believe
I wake from this dream to see
Impossibly beautiful, you walk beside me
And all that I see in you
I just want to be with you
Impossibly beautiful, but beautifully true
I am a Japanese house made of paper
You, like a hurricane, lay me to waste
Here in my brokenness,
And how can I dare to believe
I wake from this dream to see
Impossibly beautiful, you walk beside me
And all that I see in you
I just want to be with you
Impossibly beautiful, but beautifully true
Monday, September 29, 2008
For Zion's sake I will not keep silent,
And for Jerusalem's sake I will not keep quiet,
Until her righteousness goes forth like brightness,
And her salvation like a torch that is burning.
The nations will see your righteousness,
And all kings your glory;
And you will be called by a new name
Which the mouth of the LORD will designate.
You will also be a crown of beauty in the hand of the LORD,
And a royal diadem in the hand of your God.
It will no longer be said to you, "Forsaken,"
Nor to your land will it any longer be said, "Desolate";
But you will be called, "My delight is in her,"
And your land, "Married";
For the LORD delights in you,
And to Him your land will be married.
For as a young man marries a virgin,
So your sons will marry you;
And as the bridegroom rejoices over the bride,
So your God will rejoice over you.
On your walls, O Jerusalem, I have appointed watchmen;
All day and all night they will never keep silent
You who remind the LORD, take no rest for yourselves;
And give Him no rest until He establishes
And makes Jerusalem a praise in the earth.
The LORD has sworn by His right hand and by His strong arm,
"I will never again give your grain as food for your enemies;
Nor will foreigners drink your new wine for which you have labored."
But those who garner it will eat it and praise the LORD;
And those who gather it will drink it in the courts of My sanctuary.
Go through, go through the gates,
Clear the way for the people;
Build up, build up the highway,
Remove the stones, lift up a standard over the peoples.
Behold, the LORD has proclaimed to the end of the earth,
Say to the daughter of Zion, "Lo, your salvation comes;
Behold His reward is with Him, and His recompense before Him."
And they will call them, "The holy people,
The redeemed of the LORD";
And you will be called, "Sought out, a city not forsaken."
Thursday, September 11, 2008
After the last Presidential election, I got up early, voted, came home, and Iron Jawed Angels was on HBO. OH MY GOODNESS. EVERYONE needs to see this. It’s all about the fight for women’s right to vote. I had NO idea. None. We take so much for granted. I was appalled and fascinated with what they had to go through just so we could share the basic principle of what our country was founded on. I wanted to go back to the polls and ask to cast my vote again- just so I could take a moment to appreciate the fact that I could.
And obviously, this is a vitally important election…and there’s NO way I could sit by and not vote. Especially being here in CO- where it’s a swing state- and my vote would DEFINITELY make a difference.
So on August 26th, on the actual anniversary of women finally getting the right to vote- I realized I’d been procrastinating long enough- and decided to go down, get a CO drivers license and register to vote. It was an extremely impromptu decision…and I wasn’t looking my MOST cutest on that day. ;-) So I kept debating- what was more important to me, registering on the anniversary…or looking cutie for my dl pic? I was actually leaning toward the anniversary side, and decided to live with a pic that probably wasn’t gonna turn out cute anyways. BUT- I actually had to run home to get my passport- so you’ll be happy to know that I stopped everything, straightened my hair, applied lots of makeup, grabbed cute earrings…and ran to get it done. I figured it was not a good idea to become a Colorado citizen and immediately give into the Stronghold of Frumpiness.
Now the DMV is a realllllllly interesting place. Every person there seems to be depressed or angry about something. I kept wishing I had a camera just so I could take pictures to blog about it.
So my actual license came yesterday. Apparently my efforts to look cute were completely in vain. It is bad. Bad, I tell you. I seem to be higher than the camera- yet my face is looking up- but my eyes are off in the distance somewhere. I have a funny, not quite smile, but more like a disgusted scowl look on my face. (like I'm smelling something bad) AND- it looks like I just spent the summer using Sun-In on my hair- because it has this odd orange hue to it. I had to run to the mirror immediately to double check the fact that my hair wasn’t really that shade and I had just been lying to myself. I can’t imagine what it would have looked like if I had chosen NOT to make an effort.
Anyways- I got to register to vote-on the actual anniversary of the 19th Amendment. Things like that (dates) are important to me- and Iron Jawed Angels was such an eye opening movie- that I DID take a moment to appreciate the privilege that I once took for granted.
I will leave you with part of an email I received this week (it wasn't written by me!):
Remember, it was not until 1920 that women were granted the right to go to the polls and vote. The women were innocent and defenseless, but they were jailed, nonetheless, for picketing the White House and carrying signs asking for the vote. And by the end of the night, they were barely alive. Forty prison guards wielding clubs and their warden's blessing went on a rampage against the 33 women wrongly convicted of 'obstructing sidewalk traffic.'
They beat Lucy Burns (pictured), chained her hands to the cell bars above her head and left her hanging for the night, bleeding and gasping for air.
They hurled Dora Lewis into a dark cell, smashed her head against an iron bed and knocked her out cold. Her cellmate, Alice Cosu, thought Lewis was dead and suffered a heart attack. Additional affidavits describe the guards grabbing, dragging, beating, choking, slamming, pinching, twisting and kicking the women. Thus unfolded the 'Night of Terror' on Nov. 15, 1917, when the warden at the Occoquan Workhouse in Virginia ordered his guards to teach a lesson to the suffragists imprisoned there because they dared to picket Woodrow Wilson's White House for the right to vote.
For weeks, the women's only water came from an open pail. Their food--all of it colorless slop--was infested with worms.
When one of the leaders, Alice Paul, (pictured) embarked on a hunger strike, they tied her to a chair, forced a tube down her throat and poured liquid into her until she vomited. She was tortured like this for weeks until word was smuggled out to the press. So, refresh my memory. Some women won't vote this year because--why, exactly? We have carpool duties? We have to get to work? Our vote doesn't matter? It's raining?
Thursday, August 21, 2008
We interrupt the Kansas story to bring you this late breaking news…
Yesterday, as I was walking up to my apartment, I saw a strange object lying in front of my door.
Friday, July 25, 2008
I discovered the art of Waiting on God in 2001 during my SOIWSW (School of Intercession, Worship, and Spiritual Warfare) and have been hooked ever since. I do it by myself often…and have been known to drag my friends into rooms lit with candles and worship music playing softly and making them sit for a while in the presence of God. When I’ve led different groups- I always do my best to bring this concept in…even if it’s just ending our times together in that way. My church just recently started doing this on Friday nights, and I really look forward to these moments each week.
It’s amazing to me how His presence can come so quickly…and so richly…when we just take a moment to ask and then most importantly-wait for it. He has always showed up. Sometimes I “feel” it more than others. But He is always there, and I am always changed by that moment of encounter with the Almighty.
There’s something about seeking the Heart of God, and not His hand. This is a popular saying in the Christian world, but I wonder if we really get it. God wants His people to have that worshipful heart of Mary, to lay aside the things of importance in the natural, and just sit at his feet. Or be willing, in an act of extravagant worship, to break our alabaster inheritance over His awesome being. He wants us to come into that intimate chamber, where we don’t care about the world around us, or the enemy that is lurking and waiting to attack. He wants our full attention, to have our heart fully captivated by His gaze.
God desperately wants to share His heart with us, and the only way that can ever happen- is if we stop.
And lean against His chest.
And listen intently to its beat.
Friday, July 18, 2008
I have grown up since then. But I still wouldn’t necessarily say that I’m a big fan of the a.m. Actually, several years ago God had me getting up super early….at 5a.m., just to have quiet time with Him. It was a good season….but after a while…..the time got later and later…and later…
Now I know that people like to argue about when it’s ok to have your time with God. Blah blah blah. The facts are: There is something special about beginning your day with God…and not just finding a moment somewhere in it. It creates a foundation. Plus, when looking at scriptures…it’s very clear that God likes the morning. (I know, it’s a little sick) But He does. He declares that His mercies are new every morning, or that His joy comes in the morning. These of course are the 2 obvious samples…but I promise there are lots more…
So last week while in Kansas City…God and I were just hanging out having some praise and worship time…and in that precious, sweet, quiet moment, where your guard’s down and you’d say yes to anything… He says- “Hey Jenn…soooo, next week, ummm ya. You need to start getting back up at 5 and hanging with me.”
That totally has a mix of emotions to me. Part of me groans deeply…cause you know...5 a.m. is still a little bit horrific. But then really….if the Uncreated Creator is asking you to get up…and have that intimate moment with Him…when no one else is around, when nothing else can grab your attention away… that’s something you just can’t squander away.
So I’ve just ended my 2nd week…and it hasn’t been so bad. Actually, it’s been surprisingly easy. (well, ok, there were a couple of days the time slipped to 6). But I’ve loved this time, and am so glad to be back in it. About 3 weeks ago He was also telling me to re-read Ezekiel. That is one of my favorite books, and was used by God to totally change my life 10 years ago. So Chezi, God and I are hanging out deep in the quiet morning hours…
What are you doing?
Monday, June 23, 2008
Proverbs says life and death is in the tongue.
Apparently I spoke death yesterday.
While moving my stuff, I got in a discussion about my goldfish with my friends. I inherited these goldfish from my niece when she moved back to Texas, and I haven’t really been a big fan of them. One was ginormous and really spastic, the other was a smaller, normal sized one. The ginormous one died a couple of months ago, so I was just left with the small one. I moved it into a smaller, normal sized fish bowl and changed its name to Dorothy.
Anyways….so I was going off to my friends about how I was really more annoyed by the fish than attached to it and I wouldn’t be sad if it would finally die. (I know-sounds heartless, but I just really didn’t like these fish.)
So this morning, I walked into my dining room, and saw something weird on the floor.
I walked closer to it….and realized…
It was Dorothy!!!
She was a little bit on the crazy side, and would jump around in the bowl. The other morning I filled up her bowl pretty full. APPARENTLY (and this is all speculation of course)…she freaked out, hopped out of the bowl….probably flopped around till she fell on the floor… which at some point, Carly, (Krista’s dog) found her and finished her off….cause there a bite mark on her. (bleh! SOOO gross)
And to be quite honest…I WAS a little sad about it.
So the moral boys and girls, is….
Be very careful what you speak out.
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
When I finally got the paperwork done and was handed the keys, I was a little disappointed. I sorta expected a band to be playing or something.
But there was no parade.
I did just walk into my apartment….and sat……in silence…..staring all around me for a long long time.
It’s so good to be home.
I am a little bit worried- as I was sitting- I realized there was no place to put my bookshelves……hmmmmmm
So the lease is signed. My fabulous church peeps are moving me on Sunday. I’m going to do what I can until then. All my dishes and linens and stuff are gonna have to be washed after 4 years of storage.
I’m actually staying at Krista’s until next Friday though. She back in Lancaster visiting the Amish, and I’m hanging with her dog.
But that Friday….will be my very first night, in my very own bed, in my very own house.
I can’t wait.
Monday, June 16, 2008
Faced my fears!
Overcame the unknown!!
I AM every woman!!!!
So…we won’t get into the painful and disgusting beginning details of the story…but when I was moving out of my apartment four years ago (thinking I would be coming to Colorado Springs in just 3 short months, mind you)…. I packed and labeled most everything very very carefully.
At the last minute (ok, to be fair, it wasn’t THE last minute, it was actually 3 whole hours before I was moving out of the apt), my plan as to where I was going to be staying during those 3 months changed. Some major moments of stress obviously occurred, and I wasn’t necessarily in my right mind for pretty much the rest of the evening. (actually, maybe even since then!) I didn’t pay close attention to where all the boxes were going as they were moved. That night everything got moved, the majority of it to storage, and a small amount of course was to stay with me.
So at some point in the shuffle and scuffle of the next several months, during my many trips to my storage space, I came across a box that sent a chill down to my very bones and shut me down for the next 4 years….. it was simply labeled:
Now, that’s not really a good sign for a box sitting in West Texas heat for months and months on end. I did have a vague recollection of packing it. I knew it had my Tupperware containers of flour, sugar, etc. But I also knew we added other stuff….and it was the other stuff that I was concerned about.
And I know it sounds ridiculous and crazy, but I really truly could NOT deal with it. At all. I went into full denial of it ever existing.
Eventually it ended up here in CS with all my other stuff. My friends saw the box during the move, and were just as concerned….but of course no one offered to help with it…or even peek in to see what could be lurking inside for that matter.
So tonight…I knew it was my chance. The trash will get picked up Wed. morning and I could go through it tonight and be done once and for all.
I bravely ventured into the garage and located the dreaded box. I opened it up…peered inside…..
AGAIN- God loves me best!
Nothing creepy abounded!!!
I did dump everything that was in the Tupperware….cause 4 years is a bit to long I would think….
But it was bug-free, mold-free, complete and total creepiness-free!
I was however sad with the fact that I just threw away a LOT of money in old food.
ESPECIALLY when I saw that there were 2 bottles of Curly’s BBQ sauce in there. WHICH- is pretty much like gold to me. It’s the BEST…and you can only get it in Kansas….so I have to buy tons at a time and then make it last till I can get to KS, or someone brings it to me.
But yay! It’s done.
I am SOOO dang brave!
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Ya baby! That’s right… I have found a place to live!!!!
If I were perfectly honest (and that’s what blogging is for right?) I’m actually a mix of emotions between happy and sad. I’m so so happy I’ll finally have my very own place at last. That is huge. But, part of me was really disappointed when I realized it would just be an apartment I was going to have to get.
I’m telling you…..i really sometimes think CO people are on crack or something. All I ever hear is that you don’t REALLY need an AC here. What? What are you people talking about? If it gets to 85 degrees E-VER---- YOU NEED AC!
Last summer I was in a house that didn’t have it…. MISERABLE. Mis-er-a-ble. I just sat and cried every day for 2 mos.
AND of course….second most important feature next to the AC….there is that guest room- so who’s coming to see me??????????
At least you know you won’t be hot.
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
So in the midst of that, I’ve also had to move.
The house that I’ve been staying at was needing to be put on the market, so I needed a place FAST. Praise God for my friend Krista, she’s letting me stay with her, until I can get my own place. I’m SO absolutely grateful for her hospitality and friendship.
So, this last week, in the midst of scouring high and low for a job, I’ve had to pack and relocate my life. And if you know me at all, then you know this is a huge weakness in my life. Although I’ve moved at least 34 times in life (that’s an actual number people!) it still stresses me out. Really, it can completely shut me down. Every move in the last 10 years, has happened with the amazing help of Holly, who steps in and takes over when I sit in tears in the corner of a room. But this time, I just kept thinking, “Oh my goodness, what am I going to do?” But du-du-da (that was my trumpet sound)… my amazingly, fantastic, phenomenal, overwhelmingly fabulous Church peeps stepped up! Ok, really, I am so utterly blessed by them. If you don’t have a church home here in Colorado Springs, run, don’t walk, to Summit Rock Christian Fellowship! (bytheway-we meet at the Candlewood Suites on N. Academy at 10 a.m. on Sundays…) Last week, when I said I was needing to move, I had at least 10 people immediately say yes, they would help. Renee, who is my Wellness Hero (see previous blog), is now my Packing Hero. She came over and helped get my last minute craziness under control. I wouldn’t have made it if it weren’t for her. And then Sunday after church everyone showed up to help me out. I was really speechless at the love and support they showed. And they were amazing!!! I ran in to finish up my room, take sheets off bed, etc. and by the time I did that, they had already had the majority of my things loaded up. WOW! Then, when we unloaded, we decided to time it for fun….and it took a record breaking 15 minutes to unload my stuff! Can you believe it??? Oy vey! (there has been talk of starting our own moving company)
And…in the midst of all the stress, AND, quite honestly, a raging case of PMS, I never once sat in the corner, crying, and declaring I was done in life. I felt totally stable and peaceful through it all. Praise God!!
And I need to say, that besides just the moving part, the people at my church have REALLY been there for me. Things have been very stressful these last several months, and I’ve totally been taken care of by my friends at Summit Rock. I can’t even list all the things they’ve done, corporately, and individually. But I’ve been very aware of the presence of God in my life during this last season, and have known, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that He really is taking care of my details. I am so glad I get to be a part of this group, and I hope I get to be there for them as much as they’ve been there for me.
Friday, January 11, 2008
First of all, I have the girls connected with my Bible program and Bible Study. They are so fabulous and I love them dearly. Plus through them, I've met some great girls they work with at ACSI and I love getting to know them.
Church: God loved me enough to decide to move a group of people from my church in Lubbock to CS to start a church here. Now, I’m sure they’d tell you it was for an entirely different reason, but I like to think that God did it just for me. These are fantastic people that everyone in Lubbock was a little sad to let go of…but I get to still be connected with them!!
I’ve also had a couple of friends from my past just “randomly” decide to move to the area. Again, I’m sure they’d say it was for their own reasons, but, of course I think God did it for me. My friend Rachel, who I knew through YWAM and is such a precious-head, moved here last month. She didn’t actually come here to the Springs, but she’s just up in the mountains and we get to connect regularly. I am so happy we reconnected. Then my friend Sarah, who I totally adore, just recently moved here. Sarah is fabulous…and one of the only people I know from New Mexico who is relatively normal…well, as normal as Sarah can be.
Even in the midst of the other stress going on in my life, I’ve very much reminded that God DOES care about the details of my life. And I am so, so, so grateful for that.
Thursday, January 10, 2008
The main obstacle is the fact that I need an amazing paying job, with an amazing flexible schedule. I’d LOVE to have one that I could continue working from home, but really, and office isn’t bad if it’s at least flexible. The important thing is that I can’t lose focus for the whole purpose of why I’m in Colorado Springs-and that is to do my Bible program.
So I’ve been searching and searching. AND…I think I’ve found the PERFECT job!! I can work from my home…I’d get pay $24 an hour… and all I need is a landline…and I’d make my own hours! WOW! Is it too good to be true??
It didn’t really give a detailed explanation as to my job description…it only says I’d be a “Telephone Actress”...