I stole the title from Paige Allen. Who actually affects this blog in way more ways than I’m going to discuss… :-)
Don’t you love when God points out your flaws?
Actually, it’s a creepy thing…but I really kinda do. Probably because I have a deep need for perfection and I just assume I’m THAT much closer if I hurry up and take care of whatever God is highlighting to me at the moment. Please don’t ever try to burst my bubble and tell me that’s somehow not true. The goal of perfection keeps me positive.
So a couple of months ago God tapped me on the head and was like- What the heck, Jenn?? (He does say that quite often actually) And I suddenly had QUITE the revelation.
Apparently- I constantly live in the future. ALWAYS looking out *there*, and never at the actual present moment. Obvious this creates several problems. I have a hard time enjoying where I’m at, at the moment, because I’m constantly thinking about something else going on…
BUT- the biggest issue…is that in some ways, living in the future, has totally paralyzed me. I am constantly thinking- Someday I’ll do such and such…Or Later I’ll be….
but in reality- I’ve never allowed that *someday* to occur.
The revelation began as I was studying for my Bible program. I was studying Judgment, and was supposed to be going through all the Hebrew/Greek definitions, and all the verses that go along with Judgment. Now, I also tend to suffer from A.D.D.- so that, plus my Someday Issues, can make for a BAD combo. So, I’m studying, and immediately think- oh, I’ll just do the definitions now, and LATER will study out the verses. Immediately, God was like- “Hey! What the heck Jenn? NOW is the time for the verses, THIS is the moment you’ve set aside in your life to study these things.”
I know it sounds crazy, but it was a HUGE lightbulb moment for me.
Then over the next couple of weeks, God started pointing out how much I do that and have these CONSTANT thoughts…
I don't need to do that now, because SOMEDAY I’ll embrace the gifts inside me and be more of a leader….
I don't need to practice now, because SOMEDAY I’m gong to play the guitar and drums…
...SOMEDAY I’m going to read that book (some are going on 10+ yrs on that list)
...SOMEDAY I’m going to study those verses…
...SOMEDAY I’ll learn more about that subject…
...SOMEDAY I’ll be comfortable enough to teach…
SO….I’m stopping the Future living….and embracing the PRESENT. And will start enjoying the PRESENT. And when God presents those moments…I will walk into them IMMEDIATELY. (and you gotta love God- He wasted NO time in starting THAT process…mmmmhmmmm)
Plus, random sidebar tidbit… during these weeks of revelations…I was in a seminar and the teacher was talking about praying and having faith for miracles- and said-
“Be careful how you pray and what you say…for example…if you’re sick- and you’re praying for healing- don’t just say “I’m going to get better” –because you’re constantly speaking in the future, and it can keep it from manifesting in the present. Instead, you should say- “I HAVE my healing” and bring it into the present."
That pretty much sealed the lesson from God for me.
And fyi- am now declaring “I HAVE my car miracle!”