Wednesday, December 7, 2011
But really, this time...I have a good excuse. Life got crazy.
Insane. Overwhelmingly....unfunctionally crazy.
I don't want to go into too many details...but in October, I packed for a quick weekend trip and headed to Texas. Before getting there, life exploded....and 40 days later....I finally returned to Colorado. I dealt with massive heart attacks and almost losing my Grandma, emergency trip to Kansas, court cases, parents hospitalized for pneumonia, house restorations, secret alcoholism recurrence exposed, suicide attempt, military deployment, and so much much more that I can't even list....my emotions were put on a roller coaster and ran through a ringer.
So, for once...I don't feel completely guilty for my silence here. And hopefully soon I will finish the multiple blogs I already have started and get them posted soon.
But for now, I'm resting...and avoiding as much people-interaction as possible, in reality and cyberly.
I'm ok, for the most part....but the best word I can use to describe what I'm feeling right now, is raw. Very, very raw.
But this I know....
That my feelings...and my circumstances....are extremely real.
But they are not Truth.
My God is Truth.
His unchanging character is Truth.
And that is the promise on what which I stand secure.
(This is the song that got me through, kept my focus on what was True, and kept me from drowning.)
Saturday, October 1, 2011
Since last Saturday, I've been meditating on the name/characteristic of the King of Kings. God's highlighted it in one way or another almost every day. Silly me, didn't put the connection together till this morning that it's Rosh Hashana....when the characteristic of King is emphasized.
He is the King of all Kings....even the most powerful, most richest, most blessed king on this earth doesn't even remotely compare to my King, who is ruler over all. And that King....knows me. He sees me. He loves me. He wants what's best for me. He longs for me to know Him as much as He knows me. He longs for that intimate relationship with me, that blocks out the world and only revolves around us.Yet, He rules the nations. The universe is at His control. And everyone will someday bow before His throne...and the whole world will acknowledge His kingship.
I love this holiday....when I'm reminded that who God is, is far beyond my comprehension...but I'm safe and secure in that knowledge. He has the ultimate control. He has the the supreme dominion.
My Father, my King.....may you continue to cleanse our hearts and make us more like You.
Don't forget...Rosh Hashana is a time of reflection and repentance. Draw close to His heart...hear His words of correction...and allow Him to change you...making you more and more like Him.
And don't forget to eat your apples and honey!
Monday, September 12, 2011
295- Standing in that room…full of Christians, Catholics, Muslims, Atheists, Hindu’s...Americans, Russians, Ukrainians, Kazakhstanis, Thai, Moldovans, and many more…with statements being made that were highly contrary to other's beliefs...some things that could have easily been grounds for offense...but instead, choices were made to respect each other, get to know each other, allow stereotypes to be shattered and walls torn down.
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Monday, August 29, 2011
And of course this has to come with the leading of His Spirit. Jumping out and doing the things you're NOT called to do, just for the sake of doing it, only leads to misery. But I'm talking about just being willing, open to say YES to God, even when it doesn't fit with how you'd like life to look.
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
271- Reading Gone with the Wind…and crossing it off my Someday… List.
272- Getting lost in the fullness of the story of Scarlett…and letting go, at least for a moment, of her procrastinating mentality I adopted as a child. After all, tomorrow is another day…
273- My dvr. I really don’t know how I’d keep my sanity without it.
274- Reruns of M*A*S*H. I know! But I became addicted to it as a teen. (I was watching for the episode with Patrick Swayze…and then I started watching to see if I could see Radar’s deformed hand…and before I knew it, I was hooked!) And really…even though I’ve seen the episodes dozens of times, I STILL laugh out loud. I don’t have them on dvd’s so when there’s a rerun on tv, it really makes me happy.
275- Semi-spontaneous dinner stops on a road trip to connect with road-tripping friends Paige & Linda, who were headed in the opposite direction.
276- Connecting with people in Texas on my last visit that I haven’t been able to connect with in a long time…some since I moved to CO five years ago!
277- Despite record heat all summer, it ever so slightly cooled off while there…making it somewhat bearable for my heat-hating self!
278- Mini-me niece Bekah coming back with us and spending over a month here in CO.
279- Cuddling with her at night. (even though the cuddling eventually turned into her hogging the bed and trying to push me out as the night progressed)
280- Passer-throughers! Colorado seems to be quite the happening place for people driving to or through. I’ve been able to connect with so many people! The latest was my family from Kansas…and then a close friend that I hardly see, who was in Denver for a night.
281- Making new connections here in CO, from very unexpected ways.
282- The opportunity to be used by God, to reach out and make relationships with others, in a city that can be very secluding and isolating.
283- The precious sweet prayers of my Selah Tuesday girls…bringing much needed refreshment and encouragement to my dry and weary soul.
284- Email exchanges with a friend sharing freak outs, questions, prayer requests, confidences, encouragement and support.
285- Getting to support a missionary WHILE getting my hair cut. You can’t beat that.
286- Her treasured words, that finished what God had started in my heart the night before at Selah.
287- Hearing how she had been praying for me before I got to her house. (overwhelmed me, because we don’t know each other that well)
288- Listening to the voice of God coming through her words, bringing reiteration of the exact words He spoke through my friend Paige last week, then the massive new revelation that flooded my heart, and the sweet presence of the Lord that was felt in tangible waves as she cut my hair...and the continued waves I've felt the rest of the evening.
289- Closure to the heart and mind tug of war, wondering if I had been forgotten by God.
290- For the first time in months…being truly, totally, completely content with exactly where I’m at in life.........in the Waiting Room.
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Thursday, July 28, 2011
But I was there for less than a week, just enough time for the shock of my journey to wear off (that’s a story for another day)...when I suddenly became aware that I had been given a precious glimpse into this treasure chest of the North. Besides the integral relationships I made during the school, I felt like God took me there, just to show me one of His favorite places. I swear,
For the most part, Norwegians are extremely peaceful. As a whole, (with exceptions of soccer matches or if you're my friend Katrine) they aren’t a loud or boisterous people. (a fact I was told REPEATEDLY before flying there…out of fear my sometimes exaggerated personality would send them fleeing in every direction.) They may be somewhat shy and reserved, but they are definitely friendly and have genuine hearts to want people to feel welcome. They are THE best host/hostesses I have ever encountered. 10 years later, I’m still wishing I could make my home as koselig (best translation, cozy, but it's so much more, AND was the first word they made me learn in Norsk...thus it's importance) or set a table with as much thought as they have regarding presentation. Even just hanging out sipping coffee or tea at night, was usually made complete with music in the background, candles lit, and an impromptu centerpiece put together for the occasion. And, they are a people who dearly love their country. It was an honor and privilege to spend May 17th (Constitution Day) with them. The day truly celebrated their nation and their heritage. I was ashamed when they’d ask me if our July 4th was celebrated in a similar way, and my response was “No, we tend to acknowledge beer and barbeques more than we acknowledge the literal specific celebration of our Independence on that day.”
And so my heart has been ripped and broken last week because of the tragedies that occurred there. It was absolutely unthinkable. I gasped when I read the first headline. I felt that dreadful fear rise and catch in my throat, wondering if someone I knew from
The thought of
But in true Norwegian dignity, they are rising out of the ashes, and we should take a lesson from them. Their reaction called for love and unity, not violence or vengeance. My friend quoted this on one of her updates from an article she read: "Even in their deepest sorrow the Norwegians don't get hysterical. They resist the hate. It is amazing to see how politicians and the whole country reacts. They are sad to the deepest thread of their souls. They cry in dignity. But nobody swears to take revenge. Instead they want even more humanity and democracy. That is one of the most remarkable strengths of that little country"
My friend Katrine, who lives in Oslo and has been out and about all week among the people, has had several posts throughout the week that I’ve loved, “I’m very proud of our leaders and amazed that the madman got the opposite of what he intended - love, generosity and closeness in the nation instead of fear and pure hatred.”
She also quoted one of the victims at the camp, “If one man can bring so much hate, imagine how much love we can give together.”
Even their media has been part of this unified stance, not blowing things out of proportion or saying inappropriate things. The negativity that’s coming forth is coming from outside their country. And voices from our own
Even though today’s Norwegians seem to be described as a calm and placid people…they are not too far removed from the ancestors of their past. Make no mistake, they are warriors through and through. They will not be kept down. They will survive. They will stand together and fight. They will rise up, in dignity and honor, and become a stronger and more unified nation in spite of the recent trauma.
So please take a moment to pray for the beloved
Friday, July 8, 2011
I glanced down at the few comments that were posted, which I seldom do on YouTube...and was completely overwhelmed by this one:
"I am an atheist, but I really enjoyed hearing your beliefs concerning what God is. Your God of love will do a lot more for the world than the Christian God that I hear about most often, who seems to be mostly concerned with hate."
Two weeks ago that comment brought tears to my eyes. And now, as I just reread it for this blog, tears flowed again. 2000 years, and we've done a crap job of showing who Jesus really is. Why? How can we get it so incredibly wrong over and over again?
It's such a hard balance in finding the heart of God on issues of sin and sinners. Knowing what's truly right and wrong in His eyes, and not through the eyes of what our Christian culture declares right and wrong. But when will we really get it? When will we cause the world to want to embrace a relationship with God instead of run from Him because of His people?
When will we begin to show the truth? When will we let go of our religious blinders and truly walk like Jesus walked? When will these comments from the world not be the norm because they see their Creator as someone who deeply loves them and embraces them exactly where they are. God hates sin...despises it. He tells us repeatedly to get our sh*t in order and act appropriately. I don't believe we've even begun to comprehend the level of holiness He is calling us too. But there's something deeply not right about the God we've portrayed to a lost and hopeless world. There's a balance we have obviously yet to find because we continually push people away from God...not to Him. And I fear standing before Him, as a people, and being held accountable to that fact.
Our hearts must change. Our walk must change. The image of Jesus we've showed in our past cannot be the Jesus we show in our future, or most importantly, in our present. This has to be an issue that breaks our hearts, causes us to cry out in repentance, and changes our walk. I cannot imagine anything worse than portraying the wrong image of God to the world.
Sadly, even when this balance is found, people will still choose to stay away from God. But we, as His followers, should not be the reason they stay away from Him. Our lifestyle, with love oozing out of pores, ready answers of hope and redemption...should be the reason they want to embrace Him...and become more like Him.
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
258-262 Speakingofwhich- a 3 week visit from my Momma! It was amazing. We hadn’t had hang out time like this since I moved out when I was 18. Isn’t that crazy? We found a $29 flight and she was here till we drove back to TX on Memorial Day weekend. I’m only assigning 5 numbers to this…but the reality is that it was filled with a hundred gifts. This was highly precious time that was truly cherished and valued.
270- Ursula, my upstairs neighbor. It's been a divine connection, and I'm so thankful God has put her in my life. She's German...and I can often hear her singing German (possibly Opera?) songs as she walks around the apartment complex. She is such a joy...and because of her I've even been able to meet some of my other neighbors too. (after meeting no one for years!)
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Oh, actually, scratch that...I just realized we've reached the wee hours of the next day. Oops...nevermind.
I am my own domain! The address for my blog is now:
No worries...jennpossible.blogspot.com is supposed to automatically redirect you. BUT...it would probably be wise to change the address in any automatic links you may have.
And my blog is currently "in transition"...so who know what or how it's going to look for the next day or so...so please bear with me.
AAAaaaanndd...it looks as if I did lose my blog rolls. (oh the agony!) I HOPE that they will come back...but uuuuuhhhhh...I'm not so sure. I will try to get that back up and going soon, if I can remember them all. The HELPFUL thing would be to leave me a comment to remind me you were on my list (or that you'd like to be on my list)...and the link to it for my easy finding. Just sayin.
Yippee! And now...I must sleep...
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
I remember a phrase that was repeatedly declared during my YWAM Tyler days, “The entire expanse of the universe...fits into the hand of God”. I had heard this concept spoken many times in my life. But during my YWAM days, this truth began to really take root in my Spirit.
To think about this concept for even a second, can mess with your mind. But don’t think about it for just a second. Stop. Meditate on it. Contemplate it. Let it roll around in your mind and just try to grasp this overwhelming, truly awesome notion.
When my friends and I would lie in the field, looking up at the stars of that
THAT is an Almighty God. THAT is a God who deserves to be worshipped. He is worthy of us stopping our piddly little days and focusing on Him. Standing in awe of Him. Marveling at the uncreated Creator of the universe.
And I find its one thing to be sitting in church or in my home thinking about this concept…but it’s a whole other thing to walk out at night…gaze up at the sky…and try to wrap my mind around the magnitude of who my God is.
I live in the Rocky Mountains, and I can’t go a single day without looking at
And my Spirit rises in worship. Because the Creator is worthy.
He is worthy of my time.
He is worthy of my thoughts.
He is worthy of my focused worship.
The skies display his craftsmanship.
night after night they make him known.
their voice is never heard.
and their words to all the world.
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Recipe: Simple Sesame Noodles
- 12 ounces, fluid Thin Noodles, Cooked And Drained
- ¼ cups Soy Sauce
- 2 Tablespoons Sugar
- 4 cloves Garlic, Minced
- 2 Tablespoons Rice Vinegar
- 3 Tablespoons Pure Sesame Oil
- ½ teaspoons Hot Chili Oil
- 4 Tablespoons Canola Oil
- 4 whole Green Onions, Sliced Thin
Pour sauce over warm noodles and toss to coat.
Sprinkle with green onions and toss.
Serve in a bowl with chopsticks. Yummy!
I like to just use linguini noodles...cause it's easy.
Monday, June 6, 2011
So many many moons ago, I came across a super-fantastic-amazing-spectacular lamp that you could make yourself for under $15. It was gigantically fabulous. So I began the search for a paper lantern so I could make this light. I searched everywhere, but couldn’t find what I was looking for…without having to pay a ridiculous amount of money. The original article said she got hers at IKEA…for you know, a dollar or something. So I looked at their site- and found what I thought (mmmm foreshadowing…dun dun duuuuun) was the one…but also saw that they wouldn’t ship it. So a plan began to form in my head.
Thanks to facebook…and many friends traveling from my hometown to the DFW area all the dang time…(I miss taking those trips!) I asked if anyone would be willing to bring back a lantern for me, and then I’d pick it up on my next trip down to Tejas. (so much effort for a $5 light) I had several great friends volunteer…and after some back and forth…a semi-high maintenance plan was in place, with a relay lantern-passing event that should qualify for metals. HUGE shout-out to the spectacular White family. (that's their last name people, I'm not being racist) They were so extremely helpful...even though they probably thought I'd lost my ever-lovin mind.
So, Leslie (who really should start blogging again) was buying it...and at some point passing it to her mom Linda...who was then bringing it back to Lubbock. (I don't think it involved the rest of the family, but who knows)...and then I met up with Linda at church, to pick it up. When she gave it to me I was sooooo confused. Cause this was not, in fact, the gigantic lantern that was in my head. It was a cute, little, average sized one. I didn't let on to my confusion...because I thought maybe Leslie was the one that was crazy, not me...and I was trying to be nice. Plus, in the transport, it had gotten a tear in it. Which, honestly, for what I was planning to do with it wouldn't have been a big deal, I think...but the whole thing was just crazy. I had been SO excited that the plan had come together and I could finally make the lantern of my dreams...and the dream was deflating before my very eyes. (dramatic, much?)
So I went back and looked at the one on IKEA’s website. And realized my highly-anti-number mind struck again. I was the crazy one...not Leslie. It clearly stated it was 45 cm, but what did that translate in my head? 45 inches. Giant. What’s even crazier…is that if I had really thought THAT part through too…would have realized that was way too big...because the original one the project called for was about 23 inches. Oy the insanity of my crazy over-estimating-assumptions-no-concept-of-numbers mind.
So…I decided I still needed a bigger lamp for my original project...and would maybe practice on this one. Then, while searching for something fun to do with my bar stools (do you see the multiple projects going on in my brain? Oy.)…I came across this picture and was instantly in love…and knew this is what I wanted to do with my highly traveled labor of love lantern.
|From Parlour blog|
And so…months later, with a free afternoon and high determination to stop putting it off any longer…I turned this small, torn lantern into a gorgeous masterpiece. It did make me slightly lament that I do not own the BBC Pride and Prejudice series to indulge in as I hot-glued away...because that would have been utter perfection....but I did clear out some much needed space on the dvr.
The finished masterpiece.
I made my 'ruffles' slightly further apart than the ones I researched online. And the ones online trimmed theirs so that it was all even...but I liked the unevenness of it...I think it makes it look more...fluffy. Then after some slightly more drama in which I will spare you the details…weeks (aka months) later, it’s finally found its home in my now favorite corner of my living room. Along with a lamp I had found at an antique shop and spray painted. (The shade was found out Lowes.) And yes…I have plans for making over that table too…just waiting for the time, $$, and resources to pull it off. But it will also be spectacular.
|LOVE love love love LOVE|
|Lit up! Ah-mazing!!|
It’s only been hanging for a week…but it makes my heart so happy to be able to sit and stare at it…
Also…I have in fact found the lantern needed for my bedroom one…and will let you know as soon as that project is finally finished…or you know…gets started…
Also also...Praise GOD Denver's IKEA is opening next month! (July) OoooOOoooOOoohhhh Praise the Lord oh my soul! Who wants to come sleep out with me for the grand opening??????
Saturday, June 4, 2011
|Raining over the Canyon|
Daylight came and I was in absolute awe of the majesty of my God. To look out at the breathtaking views, and think, "He created this. With His hand...or with just His spoken word....for no real reason other than just because, He could.
|This was at the bookstore and it made me laugh |
because of my *momentary* new-found
love for the outdoors
|a sign at one of the stops|
I definitely hope to make it back...and see the other sides of this vast Canyon. (especially the part we passed in the dark!)
And I desperately hope God answers the cry of my heart for more of Him.
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Ok...but now the point of THIS post:
So several weeks ago, while still getting up ridiculously early because I was teaching at church, I was in the midst of my normal morning routine. First things first- making the coffee! The whole day hinges on this important moment. So I made it…and curled up on the couch, looking over my notes and praying for the service. A few minutes later, I noticed the aroma of coffee was NOT filling my home. I was annoyed at myself because I assumed I forgot to turn on the coffee maker. So I got up and made my way to the kitchen…when a horrifying discovery was made. The light was on…but nothing was a-brewing! I clicked the switch back and forth, plugged and unplugged, prayed, and begged God for a resurrection miracle.
Now, I’m not as addicted to coffee as I am addicted to the routine of coffee…especially when something important is happening that day. I like cozying up with a warm cup and a blanket. I love clutching the mug, slowly sipping it as I sort out my thoughts for the day, in the stillness and quietness of the morning.
And as far as I was concerned, this was full on tragedy. I was trying not to let it push me over the edge. (since the stress of the leading the series at church was keeping me pretty close to it) I kept telling myself that silly routines and ‘moments’ didn’t matter. That there were FAR greater issues happening that day that deserved my attention…and that I just needed to let go and move on with the day.
Of course, this wasn’t before screaming out my meltdown on Twitter about what had happened.
Many days pass, and here I was, without a coffee maker…trying to figure out a plan about how to get one. I’m still, highly unfortunately, unemployed…and unemployment barely, but not really, covers my necessary bills…with nothing left over for the frivolousness of new coffee makers. I was trying to figure out what to do…where I could rearrange money options…or debating with myself whether I could justify putting it on a credit card that I’m desperately trying to pay off.
While out and about one day, I was checking Twitter via my cell phone…and accidentally hit the message button. And there it was. A message that had been there for over a week but I hadn’t seen it, an instant reply to my coffee meltdown. (stupid ‘new’ Twitter and their lack of message notification!) It was from a friend of a friend…someone I haven't met yet…but we tweet each other regularly. She told me that she would love to send me her coffee maker- because someone had bought this piece of fabulousness for her as a gift, but she couldn’t make a pot of coffee to save her life!
Long story short…after lots of back and forth and such…this morning the UPS guy knocked on my door…and within 20 minutes I had coffee brewing. Amazing, yummy, fabulous coffee.
*blissful sigh* Life is good again. I am very blessed. And I can settle back into my comforting routine anytime I feel like it with this crazy amazing, fancy, fabulous gift.
Cheers to the precious giving heart of my Twitter friend!
And to the amazing thoughtfulness of her friend that was the first to give the gift of this maker...And to our mutual friend that we're connected through...And to the creators of Twitter, who made all this possible.
May the blessing be returned to you, Rhonda, a hundred fold, and hopefully, maybe someday, we can share a cup in person!
Saturday, May 21, 2011
So I'm still not sharing my opinion about that.
But yesterday my friend posted this Francis Chan video on his facebook page. And I'm loving Chan more and more all the time...so of course I watched it.
And I was speechless...
...and deeply convicted....
These 2 concepts alone have messed me up for the last 24 hrs...
"We're just pieces of clay trying to explain to other pieces of clay what the Potter is like."
"When we make statements like "Well God wouldn't do this ___ " ...at that moment we're putting God's actions into our reasoning..."
Those thoughts are enough to leave you contemplating and speechless for days.
Totally worth the time... and would love to hear your thoughts about it...
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
|Sarah and I at her baby shower|
|80's party...and the beginning of the deep |
bond that was forever between us