It is a truth universally acknowledged, that if you dare take a trip to Wal-mart at night, you must be in want of an encounter with crazies.
And that's exactly what happened on my last trip there.
I was helping bff Holly get supplies for her job, and picking up some personal stuff too. We get what we need and walk to the front. And here’s something that I know will really shock you... the lines at the check out were INSANE because there wasn't enough open. (I know, utterly shocking!)
So Holly and I get in separate lines next to each other. No one was behind me yet, and I realized my purse was still in the basket with Holly. So I quickly step over to grab it and start to step back into my line. From the opposite direction comes this tall, 20-something boy who’s heading to my line. I wasn’t about to lose my place, and I was closer than him, so it only took a quick step to get there.
Ok. So he arrives maybe a step or so behind me. And what does he do? Tries to fight for that place! (or at least that's what I thought) And how does he do that? BY STANDING NEXT TO ME. Next. Not slightly in front. Not slightly behind (where he should have been) but beside. me. And not at a comfortable space between us…but RIGHT UP NEXT TO ME. Oh it was SO weird. I wouldn’t even look at him cause I was getting really creeped out. So I start to “casually” look at the magazines beside me and kinda subtly step forward. And what does he do? Steps up with me! And he’s still creepy close. In fact…he gets SO close he is LITERALLY touching me! Our shoulder’s kept knocking together! And did he jump away and say excuse me? NO! He leaned against me and stayed where he was! TOUCHING. ME. What is going on? I tried several times to get Holly’s attention but never could. (Although she had apparently been watching and kept thinking “Is he touching her?”)
So at some point I break free and put my stuff up on the conveyor belt and he then steps back behind me. Relief!! But then! Instead of using the little divider to divide our stuff…he puts his stuff NEXT TO MINE...like I'm going to buy his stuff for him because he had apparently confused me with his girlfriend. So of course I find a divider and push his stuff back and place it down between our stuff. I still have yet to look up at him.
AND THEN…he really starts acting weird. Eyeing all the candy and such REALLY close. Like, his face is inches from the candy. AND THEN…I see him grab some tic tacs AND PUT THEM IN HIS POCKET. He stole tic tacs. Right up there in front next to the cashier. At this point I do turn to look at him cause I’m just so shocked and can’t take it anymore. One glance and I suddenly understood…he was not in his right clear-headed mind...this guy was definitely on something. Definitely. I don’t know what, it wasn't alcohol…but he was hanging out and shopping around Wal-Mart in a drug induced state. (hmmm...I'm wondering how much more entertaining Wal-Mart would be if you were the one high...)
Then it’s my turn. So I was trying to figure out a price for a bathmat that didn’t have a price or didn't come up on those price-check things. It wouldn’t come up for the cashier either so she was calling her manager to find out what to do. (I was hoping it was on sale for $5) This guy suddenly gets annoyed WITH ME…and says “Ooohhhhh what? You gotta call someone? Can I just go ahead of her cause I only have like, 2 things and I'm in a hurry?” So at this point, I ever so slightly snap. I turn to him and said, “No. I only have 3 things, she’s already doing what she needs to do, and (in by best mom-voice) you’ll be JUST fine and can stand there and wait.”
The cashier almost laughed out loud. And then quickly scanned my other two things so that the transaction was in progress and Crazy couldn’t keep whining.
The whole 10 minute experience was a little entertainment and a little hell all wrapped up together. I *wanted* to ask him in front of the cashier if he was going to pay for those tic tacs in his pocket…but I chickened out.
Oh! And wanna know what 2 things Druggy McDruggerson was purchasing and in such a hurry about?
A box of fruit roll ups…and a pillow.